Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
