I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
