i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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