somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
