Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
