I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
