He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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