I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
