"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
