the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
