Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
