I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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