FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
