Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think weed is turning my hair brown
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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