you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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