FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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