This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
