I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I had to cum in my sink.
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