I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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