Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize