I wannas sexs uuuuu
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
