told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
