i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
