I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we have pet lesbian snakes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
