Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
