I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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