I just pynch a tree in the face
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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