I just made out with a guy for $7.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize