Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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