Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
