if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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