My sheets look like a crime scene.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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