if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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