I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
