Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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