Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
