The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize