she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
