do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
