just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
