I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
