so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize