i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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