And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
grandma shit on top of the toilet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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