Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
