I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
