Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee

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(410): View more from Maryland

new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

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(432): View more from Texas

He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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(705): View more from Ontario

i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away

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(214): View more from Texas

The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.

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(773): View more from Illinois

All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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(312): View more from Illinois

His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.

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