better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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