You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
