He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
