if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
