You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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