East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
