I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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