The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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