I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
