I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize