we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
my poor anus
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
