I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
