I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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