I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
