I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I've blown a few things in my day
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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