If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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