Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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