I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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