I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
