dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize